Strategizing Your Relationships

It's tempting to begin strategizing your relationships, especially if you've been hurt in the past.

Wait three days to call someone you've just met. Play hard to get. Don't kiss on the first date. All that shit. 

If you fancy yourself an actual human being, don't strategize your relationships. It's a waste of time at best, because you're just prolonging the inevitable. And it's just manipulation at worst; trying to get what you want from someone who isn't willing to give it. Feel how you feel and be honest. If you base love and/or friendship it on strategy, you will always be strategizing.


And get there fast.

It is 100% valid to tell someone how you feel when you feel it. You can phrase it nicely or be blunt, but there's a respect to be gained by being up front and courageous enough to say what you feel. I think you draw the line at how you intend to act on those feelings. Don't kiss-rape people just because you feel an emotion. That part should probably be something you want to take time with. But how you feel? Let it out, man. Save everyone some time.

If you're honest and he / she takes off, you learn sooner rather than later that they aren't what you want. Big win for you: you get to move on. Prolonging pain just makes it worse. And maybe you won't hear no, you know? After all, you can't win the lottery if you don't buy a ticket.

Just don't go putting your savings in it. Cause that's dumb.