4.25.2013

Nowhere and Nothing

There are times when you look around and realize: you are absolutely nowhere. You recognize nothing. You know nothing. You feel everything, almost all at once, as if every emotion is a voice in a room yelling at you all at once.

Fighting is useless, because where do you go if you win (or lose)? Yelling is useless,
because who's gonna listen? And even if they do, what the fuck can they do? Running away is useless, because you're about as away as you can possibly get. You're nowhere.

It's at this moment where the one thing you want to do is the worst possible thing you could do. And that's nothing. You want to sit down. You want to disappear. You wish like hell none of this ever happened and you weren't here, in the middle of this nowhere that you never saw yourself ending up in.

You will do all of these things. Everyone does. And you'll stay nowhere until you do the only thing that gets you out: take action.

All of what I described isn't action. It's flagellation. It's thrashing. Action is when you stop all of the above, point yourself in a direction, and start moving.

It may not be the right direction, you say. Sure. Fine. Whatever. But when you're nowhere, any direction is the right direction. You can change course anytime after you start moving and figure it out as you go.

But get the fuck up and go. Until you do that, you're nowhere.