I Just Hacked Zen Buddhism And/Or The Zodiac

Remember those General Foods International Coffee commercials, where you drink it and the screaming kids shut up and the laundry can wait?

I always wondered what would happen if you drank one of those in a Calgon bath. Remember those? "Calgon, take me away!" Again, the kids and the chores can wait. In fact, they can just plain go fuck a football, because YOU deserve to relax and THEY are the reason you need to.

Anyway, imagine drinking one of those relaxing General Foods International Coffee beverages (Irish Cream, perhaps? Or something with hazelnut in it... Housewives and other overworked / under-appreciated people go NUTS for hazelnut, and no that pun wasn't intentional but I'll take it) in a Calgon bath.

I'm pretty sure you'd lapse into a coma vortex to oblivion and suddenly be able to put predicates in front of subjects and divide by zero. You would achieve Nirvana and / or Foo Fighting. You would hack the entire zodiac and skip from Aires to Pisces without living the other 10 life cycles.

Or, you'd just be a consumer whore. One or the other.