7.03.2012

So What If They Say "No?"


You really want that job. But you can't bring yourself to apply because, what if they say "no?" What then?

You've been talking to him or her for weeks now, and they're funny and they're bright and they're really cute when they do that thing with the pencil when they aren't paying attention and you just happen to catch them in the corner of your eye... But you can't bring yourself to ask them out on a date, because, what if they say "no?"

So what if they do? And why are you presuming to answer their question before even asking them? Isn't it only fair that you give them a chance to voice their own opinion?

The problem isn't that they might say no. The problem is that you may find out you're not qualified, in their opinion, to fill the role you wish you could. And you may not be.

But then again, you also just might be.

You know how you figure it out? You fucking go for it. All those old cliches about "no risk, no reward" and "fortune favors the bold" and all that? They're old sayings for a reason. They're the advice from the old, handed down to the young, because it's only after we've lost our chance that we realize we should have taken it when we could have. And everyone's bold in hindsight.

Lonely, sad, regretful and locked in a position in life you don't want. But bold.

Or, you could be bold now. And yeah, they could say no. But along with that comes an opportunity to find out why the answer was no. If a guy rejects you because you're not cute enough, you just found out that you spent some time liking a superficial person. If you don't get the job because you're not qualified, you just found out what it will take to become qualified.  You can't always get what you want. But you'll never get what you want if you don't try. Quit rejecting yourself before anyone else can reject you.

And then, there's what happens when they say "yes." Oh, the nerves! But you just went for it and got it. And now, you have a chance to take things to the next level. You get to explore new ground. You get to learn new things. You get to grow and be someplace you only went in your mind, with people you only imagined knowing the way you get to know them now.

But only if you stand up, take a deep breath, and go for it.

Go on. Stand up. Take that deep breath. Smile -- you're about to do something great for yourself. Now, go and be bold, motherfucker.