5.24.2012

Useless Words, Phrases, Sentiments and Other Bullshit





Useless words, phrases and sentiments, when someone else is hurting:

  • It'll all work out
  • It'll be okay
  • aww, honey...
  • Any song lyric or movie quote
  • "I haz a sad"
  • :-(
  • Look on the bright side
  • Tomorrow's another day
  • Man up
  • Grow up
  • Do you know who really has it bad? The [demographic in third world country]
  • [any words, phrases or sentiments that focus the attention on you]
  • clicking any plus or like button


Non-useless words, phrases and sentiments, when someone else is hurting:

  • How are you?
  • Are you okay?
  • What can I do to help?
  • I love you.
  • Thank you.

Useless words, phrases and sentiments, when YOU are hurting:
  • Absolutely anything written on Twitter, Facebook, G+ or any other social network. Going to social networks when you are hurting isn't seeking relief, it's seeking validation.


Non-useless words, phrases and sentiments, when YOU are hurting:
  • I am hurting.
  • Help.
  • Can I talk to you for a moment?
  • (Over the phone) I need to make an appointment with [name of therapist]
  • I need my friend right now.
  • I need my [sister/brother] right now.
  • I need my [boyfriend/girlfriend] right now.
  • I need my [husband/wife] right now.

Know the differences. Useless words, phrases and sentiments simply fill the space. Actually useful things do more than fill space, they help. Passing by someone's page on Facebook for a few minutes and expressing via comments and likes, platitudes that do absolutely nothing to help anyone, is masturbation. It makes you feel like you did something to help.

On the flip side, posting your pain on Facebook and Twitter is also masturbation. It accomplishes nothing, because people's replies are useless for the exact reasons I describe above. Furthermore you're not looking to end the pain, you're simply an approval junkie looking for a fix to end the withdrawal pains. 

Try not to be useless. Seek actual help when you're hurting, and provide actual help when someone you know is hurting.