They Need Your Permission To Make You Miserable

Here's a little present for you. It's a trick I discovered somewhat by accident around Christmas, when someone who used to be close to me showed back up in my life and proceeded to try to make me feel bad for being who I am, and then again very recently when some uncomfortable silences became uncomfortable conversations.

It's a simple question you ask yourself when someone (or someones) have gotten you to the point of frustration, sadness or even depression:

"How long should I let this person control how I feel?"

Once you ask that question, your feelings stop being a burden and become a choice. And you get to decide if you want to be miserable because an asshole has decided you should be, or if you want to go ahead and let that bullshit go and be happy (or, at the very least, stop feeling miserable).

This doesn't mean you have to quit caring about the person if they're someone you love. It just means you're not going to let them convert your love for them into misery for you. They need your permission make you feel bad. Choose not to let them.

And that's really the simple truth of it all: everything in life is a choice. Everything.

If you feel helpless in a situation, whether it be how you feel, or who you're with, or what you're doing with your life, begin breaking things down into choices and decisions. The truth is, as hard as it is to swallow, you are responsible for your own life. If you are honest with yourself, you'll see it. And even if you can't choose to leave a situation, you absolutely can decide how you're going to feel about it.

That's how you take control and own your life -- you decide to.

(P.S. If you want to make your own silly error message that's relevant to your own silly blog posts, go here. That's what I did)