10.24.2011

The Real Man's Guide To Wearing A Bow Tie

This guide isn't like my other guides. It's short, simple and sweet.

There are only four occasions where it is manly to wear a bow tie:

1. When you are in a tuxedo, at a wedding, party, or other social gathering:



2. When you are a member of the Nation of Islam:



3. When you are a 00 agent saving the world from yet another evil mastermind's nefarious plot:



4. When you are selling yummy popcorn:



ALL other times you wear a bow tie, you are a douchebag:

 Douche.


 Douche.


 Douche.


 Douche.


 Douche.


There are no exceptions. This includes barbershop quartets, because all members of barbershop quartets in 2011 are douchey.

Men do not wear bow ties for fashion. Little boys do. That's the long and short of it.

Thank you for reading The Real Man's Guide To Wearing A Bow Tie.