As you can see from the subject, I want to be a Santa now. And the reason I want to be a Santa now is because of this offer I received from one Heather Madison, from Thumbtack (and what is Thumbtack? Why, it's the people who are going to make me a Santa!), offering to begin sending me tons and tons of clients for my newfound career!
(I've left the links in, but made them nofollow -- I don't want them to get any SEO crap from me, but I think it's worthwhile to all of you who want to become santas to have the links to this fantastic and, frankly, utterly AMAZING offer)
-------- Original Message --------
Subject: Are you a santa? Date: Mon, 11 Jul 2011 10:08:19 -0700 (PDT) From: Heather Madison Reply-To: email@example.com To: [my email address which you should already know]
I'm reaching out to you because Thumbtack is getting a lot of job leads for santas, and I'm looking for another santa who is interested in taking on more clients.
After checking out your website I think you are a great fit for Thumbtack and I'd love to start sending you job leads. Please fill out a few details about your skills and rates, and I'll start forwarding you potential new clients.
If you have any questions about what Thumbtack can provide, please don't hesitate to ask.
Do you see??? DO YOU SEE how she bolded the part about how she'd love to start sending me job leads? I mean, this Santa thing is practically in the fucking bag here, folks! It's so in the bag, I could go on to make a Santa pun and say it's in a big red bag! And it's a present! TO ME!
I'm totally going to be a Santa. I encourage all of you to do the same. Or you're on my naughty list. Unless you give me a funnel cake. In which case, well... I'll get you a toy from the series you want, but not the specific figure you asked for. So either be a Santa and get me a funnel cake, or you get Dial Tone and Ratchet instead of Snake Eyes and Optimus Prime. Capice?