6.19.2011

Pears + Joe = BFF FOREVER

I love pears.

I eat two pears a day, if not three. Those who know me know that if you see me, there's probably a pear sitting somewhere nearby. Unless, of course, I've eaten it -- in which case, it's inside me. Which is even closer than somewhere near me. Me and pears, we are inseperable. I've been friends with pears for... Oh, gosh. Longer than I can even remember. Pears were there when I got married, when I graduated high school, on my first day of high school... Pears and me, we've done it all, and we've done it TOGETHER.

And man, we've got some seriously wild stories... Oh yes we do. This one time, pears and I got SO drunk, right? And we were at this bar, and I was TOTALLY smashed up, you know? And I was hitting on this incredibly HOT chick, and we were all like "Yeah, so I liked Empire Strikes Back better than all the rest." "Oh, ME TOO!" "OMG WE ARE SO, like, RELATING HERE!" And pears tapped me on the shoulder and was like "Dude, that chick? That's TOTALLY a DUDE." And I was like "Uh, NO WAY, pears. This is a chick, man!" and pears was like "HEY! DUDE! That chick has sausage in her knickers!" and I was like "Dude... Don't talk about MY LADY FRIEND that way!" and I punched pears and pears bruised. But then the chick was like "Excuse me, I have to go pee" and walked right into the Men's room, and I was like "OMG Pears, man, I'm so sorry I doubted you, how could I doubt you when you've been there with me all these years?" and pears was like "I don't know, man, you didn't trust me, I don't know if I can forgive that." But then we made up and all was ok, and I ate pears.


Pears + Joe:

2 Friends
2 Gether
_________+
4 Evar.