The problem? Apparently, graphology requires cursive. I only write in print. And all of the samples she could find online (via my Notes to Self and scanned journal / letters / whatever) feature my sloppy-yet-readable-to-me-so-fuck-everyone-else print style of handwriting. So, to humor her, I wrote the following:
"It says that you're isolating yourself from your environment, socially, psychologically, or both... Fearing contact and closeness. It could also mean you've constructed gradiose fantasies for yourself that set you apart from others, or you are harboring suspicion and hostilities that KEEP you separate [from others]."
...All that from a fake attempt to write cursive. So I tried again, with an actual attempt to write in cursive. This was that:
And her analysis:
"The good news is that you're not a serial killer. But this says the same thing as the first."
Well fuck. I guess I hate you all. Now excuse me as I go sit alone somewhere and remember that time I jumped my rainbow tiger-striped unicorn over a helicopter on a dare made by President Clinton. When I get back, maybe we can do Tarot cards, or some Phrenology.
Also, for real, I hate my friends.