Diarrhea, Vomiting And Wreckless Driving

So, I've been a little sick to my tummy the past day or so. And I'm out of Pepto. So I went to the store this evening to get some.

On the way, someone stopped short in front of me and I had to swerve to miss them... Right into a neighbor's mailbox and fully loaded trash can.

Trash went flying everywhere. But it seems all the old food ended up all over my hood and windshield.

When my truck slid to a stop in the snowmelt-saturated yard, I got out and had to clean up someone else's trash.

Someone. Else's. Trash. Trash that, if it was anything like my trash, has been sitting there for a week and a half due to delayed trash pick up during the snowpocalypse a week ago.

Someone else's leftover food, and spoiled milk dried in old containers, and pizza crust bits, and ashtray dumps and coffee grounds.

And that was gross.

But what really got me was the pile of ramen noodles resting on my windshield wiper with a milk ring right in the middle of it.

So yeah, I puked all over my truck, with the slowly drying ramen and a few half-opened Papa John's garlic dipping sauce cups.

When I drove up to the place where you drive in straight and the guy tells you to turn slightly right and then slightly left to line up exactly right, even though you probably already were straight to begin with, he looked at the goop on the front of the truck and gagged.

It would have been SO awesome if he puked too, so then there'd be his puke on my puke on the old ramen noodles and garlic sauce cups. But that didn't happen, so my day FUCKING SUCKED because that guy let me down. Motherfucker.

Annnnnnnnd I have to buy the neighbors a new mailbox.

And that was my day. How was yours?