First, Reddit and Fark both featured my Facebook Profile Page hack bit, and that was nice. But in the comments, there were several know-it-all "Firearm safety experts" going on about my "trigger discipline" in the photos:
Dear idiots: It's a PICTURE. It was taken for effect. It's meant to convey a message. "I'm totally going to shoot myself in the head right now!" somehow loses its impact when your finger's not actually on the trigger ready to pull it, doesn't it? The gun is an unloaded prop, besides.
The real issue for me is the people who emailed or commented talking about how the photo was "in poor taste" or how it "teaches a bad lesson." Listen, if you're taking firearms safety lessons from a guy who is taking photos of himself HOLDING ONE TO HIS HEAD, you pretty much deserve to have your brain splattered to and fro. I won't be crying, that's for sure.
Today, I return to AOLNews after a bit of a hiatus. I talk about why Facebook hates Captain Awesome. It's worth reading, if for no other reason than it makes me look like I have readers.
I drew up this Attack of the Killer Tomatoes bit for Bryan Long, who chastised me for spelling his name with an 'i' instead of a 'y':
I told him that's what makes it 'art' -- the imperfections. He bought it. You should buy one. Tell me what you want me to draw, and I'll totally draw it and then put it with a Christmas card and then mail it and then be happy when you get it and then tell you how I'm not really a good drawer when you complain about how much it sucks.
But you know, I used to be a drawer. I drew a lot when I was in junior and high school. I even had a short-lived comic strip in the Georgia State Signal when I went there. It was short lived mostly because my college career was.
That was a huge step for me; putting my drawing in a public paper like that. I suffered from pretty severe "creative anxiety" caused by retarded people in my life who constantly berated and destroyed my creative stuff (literally -- my older brother used to break my crayons and pencils just to be a dick, among other things. Surprised to find out I have an older brother? That's because I don't talk about him, ever. Why don't I talk about him ever? Because he smashed up my art supplies, among other things. FOLLOW ALONG!).
Then when I left school and stopped the strip, I had a parallel experience that ended up with some people I care about saying some really nasty things, and it pretty much shut me away from my drawing desk. But things like writing Mentally Incontinent and this blog really helped me get past that stuff, and publishing the books and having people be very supportive has been such a gift.
And so, with a deep breath and a sigh, I decided to offer sketches to you fine folks for that stupid retarded sale thing. It was a very purposeful choice; I knew I was going to have to sit down at the drawing desk again and, like, drawn and stuff. And I have, and I will tell you people, I've had the most fun I've had in YEARS doing these. It's literally been 11 years since I drew anything besides web layouts by hand. Yay.
Bryan's Killer Tomatoes and Ellen's "Alien3" drawings have been two of my favorites so far. So that's why I've shown them. Maybe I'll show more -- very likely, given the two "Thankskilling" and three "Tetsuo totally freaking out" sketches requested. And before you even say it, I know I draw like shit compared to artists like Mark Brooks and Tom Feister and Tony Shasteen and Cat Staggs and (insert about fifty thousand other names here). I'm not them. I'm me. I draw like me. Yay me.
Oh, I didn't show you Ellen's Alien3? I linked it on Twitter and Facebook, but not here. So, here it is:
The caption says "I couldn't even bear to so much as THINK of Alien3 ever again, so here's 3 aliens!"
...Because Alien3 was horrible. Horrible, I say.
Edit: looks like I did link to the Alien3 pic, in the bathroom post the other day. But fuck it, more pictures means longer page, means I look like I'm dong my job.