Mommy Bloggers: SHUT THE FUCK UP

Dear "Every single mother who thinks that the mere fact that she got knocked up and spawned a dependent entitles her to an audience of people drooling for her every word, even though the only person who has ever successfully turned that into an endeavour worth actually reading once in a while is Heather Armstrong (A.K.A. Dooce) and you are not her":

Shut up. Please. Just get off the net and tend to your child. You're missing a TON of those precious OMG moments you are so keen to blog about.

While you were typing about the coupons you tried to pass off at Fred Meyer for formula that were a week out of date and the cashier was so rude to you, your kid just vomited up a piece of plastic ring from a milk jug that you should be rushing out to have bronzed.

While you espoused your vitrol about Brett Favre earning $12 million dollars a year while your sister the special ed teacher who has dedicated her life to the education of disabled / retarded children, forgetting the fact that NO ONE buys tickets to a special ed class, much less popcorn, soda, hats, jerseys and programs of the event while they're there, your precious one-in-a-million combination of over three trillion sperm and your egg is about to break that Precious Moments cake topper from your wedding to your third husband.

GO. AWAY. Thanks.


Joe Peacock, on behalf of the whole rest of the internet