"It Could Be Worse..."

No other four-word phrase produces the amount of ire in me that "It could be worse..." does.

Case in point: I am expecting a box containing a new Macbook Pro today. I need this Macbook Pro today because I will be away from home the next few days, and the shipment requires a signature. Apparently, FedEx are a bunch of clowns who can't actually deliver items on the day that they say they will, and the shipment has been delayed for delivery until tomorrow.

This comes on the heels of several different people in several different positions of authority giving me hearty boot up the ass for several different things -- all of which are not directly my fault and should have been handled with a lot more tact, except that the persons involved are feeling pain so they're passing it down to me.

So I share my lament with my friend Jeremy, who then lets me know that, while my very exciting (and necessary) Macbook Pro delivery being delayed is certainly an "assache", especially combined with the rest of today's bullshit, "it could be worse."

OF COURSE IT COULD BE WORSE. It could have fallen out of the airplane and hit a little boy, killing the kid and voiding my warranty on the new computer. It could have been misdelivered to a house where a terrorist cell member covertly lives, where the computer would then be used to mastermind the next 9-11. Lots and lots of things could have happened that could be worse.

This does not make me feel better. It makes me feel like taking out all of my frustrations on your face. The point is not that this situation is as bad as it could possibly get. The point is that I'm already frustrated, and this just causes more frustration. Knowing how much worse it could be does not alleviate the pain and frustration I'm feeling right now. Actually getting the fucking thing would do that.

So my retort to all of you ridiculous not-experiencing-pain-right-now optimists when you tell me it could be worse? Yes, but it could be better - I could have my computer right now, AND I could be punching you. Best possible situation in my book.

*** Edit ***

Just now, I let Jeremy know I wrote this, and told him "You know I don't mean this personally." He replied "Oh I don't give a shit, it was just something trying to get you to realize you're just having a bad day and the world isn't out to get you."

I'd prefer the world was out to get me. Then, I could fight back and be in the right. As it stands, anyone I kill right now would just be an innocent person in an unfortunate situation. I don't feel better, I feel even worse. So yeah, yet another point against Jeremy.