Gay Christian Witnessing: Surrealism Defined

Sitting at Octane Coffee House in Atlanta, currently being witnessed to by members of the Gay Christian Alliance. Seriously, this is happening. Right now. I am writing this as they tell me about their church and why I should come and how open and non-judgemental it is.

I have already explained that the religion thing isn't my bag, and they've countered with how it wasn't for them either, due to all the stereotypical judgmental aspects and how judgmental it is. And their church isn't judgmental, and they're not judgmental. So they won't judge me. I should really come to the church.

I'm not so sure I even understand the whole concept here. Christ changed their life and turned them around, according to both of these guys. They were headed down the wrong path. And now they're "realigned."

What does that even mean? This is why I hang out in stereotypically gay environments - so I don't have to hear this shit. Homosexuals, you my homies! Don't be flippin' the script or other street slang I really shouldn't be using!

And for the record, it's not the fact that they're gay and Christian. It's the fact that they're gay and Christian and won't shut the fuck up about it and leave me alone in my straight heathenism. For a couple of non-judgmental dudes, these guys sure are disapproving of my lifestyle choice of being without religion by way of not relenting on their message.

***Update 3:03PM ***

Immediate question: Are they trolls?  I'm pretty sure they're not trolls. The one guy has a huge cross on his forearm, and they're not giving each other weird eye signs or whatever like friends who troll do when they troll.  Also, how cool would a reality show called TROLLIN IRL be? Cause I think it's pretty awesome, it's Tony Deconick's idea.

They moved to their own table, and as they stood up, I put on my cones of silence (headphones). I've accidentally caught one of the guys' eye once, and he smiled and nodded and mouthed something. I took off the headphones for a sec to be polite, and he said "Let me know if you want to talk more." I said "Sure, I'll do that."

Still not over it.