It's Asshole Day At Starbucks!

Whenever I have a lot of work I need to power through, I head to a coffee shop. Long time readers will remember that I used to go to a very special Starbucks over in Fayetteville. It was special because the oddest crap kept happening there, including one of my favoritest stories ever.

But I've since found that a few other Starbucks in the area have their own special qualitites - and today, since it's sunny and warm and nice out, I went to the McDonough Starbucks due to its superior patio and friendly staff. 

And when I pulled into the parking lot, this is what greeted me: A car double-parked.

And it's not an especially nice one, either - it's just a Honda Accord. But the asshole felt so superior, he had to take two spots. And while I was grumbling about that walking up to the place, I began hearing over and above the light jazz playing on the speakers a loud, obnoxious voice that could only belong to a conservative talk radio host.

I look around the corner, and sure enough, there's a car with its windows down, doors open, trunk open, blaring the finest thoughts coming out of the fringe right this early morning:

Now, I really wish I could have gotten a picture of the guy whose car this is - pink polo shirt which didn't cover his beer gut entirely, white kahki shorts, blonde Glenn Beck hair, and a fucking porn stache.

I went inside and ordered my coffee, then grumbled to the very kind clerk about the guy bumping the talk drivel in the parking lot.

"Oh, he's here every morning," she said. "It's a little strange," she added with a grin.

I walked out fully intent on getting my Flip HD camera and Gorillapod to film myself driving up beside the car in my truck blaring "Deciple" by Slayer, leaving my doors open, and sitting down next to him and just drinking my coffee - but as soon as I grabbed the camera, he began walking to the car.

Mark my words, dear readers: THIS. WILL. HAPPEN.