The Top 1 Reason You Shouldn't Flush Kitty Litter

So, my parents' cat died a few weeks ago. Yes, sad, I know. But as much as I liked Ms. Kitty, that's not the tragedy here. It's merely the precursor to that which is.

My parents, not wanting anything to go to waste, decided I needed very much to take home the auto-scooping cat box they bought for Ms. Kitty. I protested and insisted that the box doesn't really fit into the current dichotomy in our home - we are perfectly fine replacing the litter every 3 days, and the auto catbox thing requires clumping litter to work right. But they insisted, invoking the memory of their dearly departed cat.

So, I caved, and made the best of it by installing this automatic scooping cat box - along with a fucking cat water fountain I was also forced to take, I shit you not - in my office for Mofo, my office cat. Mofo is a bit standoffish, hence her name - so she lives alone in my office, separate from the other cats. And some weeks, I might go four or five days without cleaning her box, because after all, she's just one cat and she doesn't really stink so bad.

The auto scooping cat box has been fine all week, doing it's little job with nary a concern - until today, when the little bucket that holds the poos and pees got full, and the auto scooping cat box began whirring and whining and crying because it couldn't fit any more offal into the container, causing it to jam. So I took the little bin out and considered it.

I've never used scoopable cat litter before. Thus, I've never really considered the proper disposal of individual poos and pees - I've always just hauled out a litterbox liner full of waste litter and filled the box back up. But that's not how this automatic scooping catbox thing works. It works with clumping litter. Says so right on the warning label.

Because I was in a bit of a hurry to return to my work, I did the first thing one does when one considers what to do with poos and pees as they sit festering in a small bin in your hands - I dumped the whole lot into the toilet and flushed it.

Big, big, BIG mistake. With a capital F-U-C-K-I-N-G. You see, clumping cat litter clumps when wet.

I think you know the rest of the story from here.

Needless to say, I spent the next two and a half hours learning the fine arts of using a plumber's snake and removing a commode, and the reason they make and sell latex gloves. I had to scrape and pry out what had essentially become concrete from the crooks in the flush tube of the commode, meanwhile snaking about 25 feet of drainage.

As an aside, if you've got a toilet in your home that hasn't been removed and cleaned in a while... Just leave it there. You do NOT want to see what happens to the back lip of the drain as all those years of Wendy's value meals brushed past the lip and left small amounts of themselves which built up over time.

Trust me on this.