What To Call The Next Decade

There has been a lot of discussion about what to call the next decade.

Many folks are advocating calling it "Twenty Ten", dropping the "Two-Thousand" designation we've been using the past 10 years. Others are calling it "Aught Ten" or "Two Thousand And Ten" or some other variation, just to be smartasses.

I am calling it "Not The Last Decade." As in tomorrow will be January 1, Not The Last Decade. I realize Not The Last Decade is not a number, and honestly, I just don't care, because I'm just that excited about the fact that this fucking decade is just about over.

The 2000's sucked. Period.

Music sucked. The 2000's saw The Blackeyed Peas go from being at least somewhat legit to a total pop act which got Will.I.Am in the stupid Wolverine movie - another product of the 2000's. Lady Fucking Gaga - need I say more? Yes? Okay fine - The New Kids On The Block got back together this decade. And don't even get me started on goddamn mashups... With the very notable exception of Jaydiohead, mashups are horrible malformations of waveforms that make untalented people seem clever.

The 2000's also saw popped-collar marketing douchebags calling themselves "Social Media Experts" and pissing all over my glorious internet. The locals have been shoved out to make room for the tourists who have no idea, appreciation or understanding of just what went into making this here thing what it is. Seriously, fuck you Kevin Rose.

We also saw the gross bastardization of some beautiful stories in the 2000's as Hollywood figured out that "Graphic Novel" basically equaled "Storyboard for a movie." The Watchmen movie has been covered here before, but nothing can forgive that hunk of shit that was 300. And while I loved Iron Man, Spider Man (and Spider Man 2), X-Men 2 and the second Incredible Hulk, those stories are of iconic characters who have been used in other properties years and years ago. They weren't original stories transferred to film for the purpose of making dollars on a trend.

And let's not forget the 8 years we suffered under "President" Bush. I think anyone who thought those 8 years were great should seriously go fuck themselves with a spear. Die, seriously. You're a waste of oxygen and food that could be used for hungry, needy people with actual purpose on this planet.

So yeah, I'm fucking done with this decade. While I had my own successes during this time with my books and other projects, by and large, I've hated this decade. So I'm calling every year for the next ten years "Not The Last Decade." And while it may make it harder for the people cashing the checks I write, I think it's worth their pain to get my point across.

Good fucking riddance, 2000's. You will not be missed.