Ego vs. Id (or some shit)
“There is no limit to what can be accomplished if it doesn't matter who gets the credit.”
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
That's pretty true. And it's something else I struggle with, in addition to the whole "Gosh, wouldn't it be swell if I was an artist?" thing. Why does my ego get in the way of my accomplishments?
Maybe it's because we humans know inherently that our lives on this planet are, in the grand scheme of things, insignificant dots of existence - a rounding error in the total number of years the world has existed. We instinctively want to make the most of it; to leave our mark and feel that our presence will, in some way, be noted.
We want so desperately to be more than time seems to want to allow us to be. We toil and we struggle, making whatever impacts we can on whichever lives cross our paths. We labor to be considered in the annuls of history instead of merely footnotes - or worse, the parts edited out for length.
We don't want to matter, we NEED to matter. It's imperative to our nature.
Or, maybe we're all just selfish fucks who want to buy jetskis and drink Moet with the money we got for being so clever.
It's one or the other. I haven't figured out which yet.