Being The Early Bird

You ever hear that the early bird gets the worm?

What the fuck kind of incentive is that?!? No only do you have to crawl out of an environment that as close to the womb as you've managed to attain since being born, probably interrupting a really great dream involving twins (any dream, with any twins - twins are just neat, no matter what they're doing, even fixing bicycles). But you have to do it to eat worms!!!!

That's why I'm never the early bird.

Also, did you ever notice that, while the early birds try to fly with full stomachs, they lose their agility and can't dodge the engines of the Boeings flying the first-of-day commuters?

All that waking up stuff... Highly overrated.