4.17.2013

Hey Ladies - Let Me Fill You In On A Secret

Today on Facebook, I shared a link to the new Dove "Real Beauty" campaign, featuring women being drawn by a trained forensic artist as they describe themselves, then comparing their version to a drawing as others describe them (AKA, reality). The results are exactly what you think: women are FAR more critical of themselves than they should be or deserve to be, and are shocked to find out how  beautiful they really are.

This article I wrote a few years ago speaks to the reasons why.  I feel that this article is something every woman on earth needs to read. If you know a woman who knows how to read, feel free to share it with her.


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I just read Dorothy Snarker's writeup, Six Packs Are For Cans, about the fashion industry and beauty magazines and one particular model photo (Possibly NSFW, if your boss is a tightass) that's causing some stupid uproar. And she makes some incredibly good points in that article. And while I HIGHLY encourage you to read every single word of her article and take it in and understand it and live it, naturally, you're probably going to wonder what dudes think. And since Dorothy's a chick, and you're chicks, and it's hard to take a chick's word on what dude's think of chicks, I figured I'd let you in on a secret.

Fashion and "beauty" magazines Photoshop models to look like some overly-aggrandized ideal figure. This is not the secret. Anyone whose spent any time on the net has seen the bazillion or so sites that reveal model retouching with before and after photos, showing everyone from Halle Berry to Beyonce to Megan Fox being retouched from "human" to "super OMG beauty goddess whatever."

The secret:

They, the magazines and make up manufacturers and clothing creaters, do not do this because this ideal is what we men find beautiful. It's not.

They do this because they want to convince you that this ideal is what we men find beautiful - and that ideal they're pitching is so realistically unattainable (or, rather, is attainable, but only through 8 hours a day at the gym, a professional nutritionist, and many, many sessions at the plastic surgeon's den o' cuttery).

And it forces you to go out and starve yourselves on fad diets and buy stupid heaps of ugly makeup and magazines that teach you how to be what you never could (or should) be and expensive clothes, making you hate yourselves when you look in the mirror to the point where, in my own simple polling at the gym last night, eight out of ten women - all of whom I find devestatingly beautiful - said that they wanted some sort of body enhancement or reduction surgery.

Not "would consider" - WANT.

That's such complete bullshit.

Do you realize how little attention men pay to the tiny imperfections you've been psycholocially abused into thinking we care about? NONE. Except for those jock meathead fucksticks in New Jersey who can't even see past their own tiny dicks due to having their heads shoved all the way up their own asses. And if you're caring what a guy like that thinks, you're already broken to the point that I can no longer help you.

Regular men - REAL men - don't see that. Beauty is in humanity. To have curves and shape and form is to be human. To be without those things, to hold yourself to an impossible ideal... Men won't ever tell you this, but when they see women like that, there's a subconsious event that triggers that immediately makes them uninterested. They may be ATTRACTED, but ultimately, it's just to the glint and glitter of the smooth thing in front of them; a fleeting thing at best. They're not actually interested in pursuing anything meaningful with a woman like that, because after all, she's broken to the point of caring more about what other people think than in being confident in herself.

You're beautiful, naturally. Take good care of your body. Eat right and exercise. But do those things for YOU, because you love how you feel when you do it and because it's just right to protect and nurture yourself... Not because you think some dude wants to see a six pack. And for chrissake, stay the hell away from the surgeon, unless your condition is a detriment to you physically.

Stop reading any magazine you can buy while you're checking out at the grocery store. Quit holding yourselves up to some retarded social ideal of what you should be. Be beautiful by loving yourself. Confidence is one thousand times sexier than any physical attribute.