The Suckiest Suck In The History of Suck

It's hardly new, but I was reminded by a friend of mine today of Kel's Photo Creations.

Usually, I'm very supportive of people who are just learning Photoshop, or just starting out in art and design. Hell, I'm usually supportive of people who've been doing it for years and just suck at it. And I'm downright pleased to support the mentally handicapped when they pick up crayons and produce something creative. But I believe deeply, as do the Dead Milkmen, that there's a special place in hell for people who just won't learn to color right, and yet have the unmitigated gall to charge for it.

I hate these kinds of "artists." These are talentless hacks who spend their lives being talentless hacks whilst hiding under a layer of shame that masquerades as "My Art." They refuse to learn a skill, much less improve on it. They get some idea in their head that, because they can type "Photoshop" and "Torrent" in Google and find an enabler for their particular brand of bad ideas, they have the right to actually do something with it. But who I hate more are the morons who actually hand over good money for the privilege of having their soul sucked right out of their eye sockets by this evil demon:


And then there's this little gem, which I've dubbed The Poorly Laid-Out Collage of Eye Death:

Hi! We're sad to be in this picture!

And what more can one say about this picture that isn't already said by the event horizon that was just created inside your monitor the second you loaded it, due to the severe amount of pure suck:

The bows... The Eyes... The Lips... The cutout of the hair...
Why, it's color by numbers, only with letters,
and they all add up to spell out "SUCK"

What the FUCK? How does one get by doing this shit without ever Googling "good art" and seeing what they're up against? What's more, how did anyone ever hand over a check for this ungodly thing?

If you're reading this, Kel, you suck. You suck you suck you suck. There's no school you can go to, there's no class you can take... Just fucking stop. With art entirely, I mean. And if you refuse to take that bit of advice, at least stop polluting the internet with it. I'd rather see fan fiction illustrations of Decepticons fucking than your grabasstic crap.

Yeah, uh... Don't click that link. Seriously.