I don't give a fuck about starlets. Period. I just don't care about them. Paris, Brittney, Lindsay, J-Lo, whatever. Don't care. Can't care. Won't care.

I used to respect Scarlett Johanssen... But that's probably because I love Ghost World and Lost in Translation. I gave her passes on her latest block of schlock, starting with "The Island" and... Well, not ending yet. But only because those two movies I mentioned before were so damn great. So yeah, I was blissfully unaware that this retard went full-blown starlet and released a record.

Good for her. More money, I guess. But did she have to go and attempt to cover one of the greatest songs by one of the greatest singer/songwriters to ever exist? I mean... What the fuck IS this shit, man?

GODDAMN AWFUL, that's what.

It is in no way anywhere near the same league as being close to ranked on the same scale as this:

Jeff Buckley - Last Goodbye (Official Music Video)

I swear to God, I wish I had a baseball bat the size of California so I could beat the holy shit out of this planet.