5 hours to home.
Sent via SMS. Please forgive any typos or pointlessness.
So, why am I here? Because, according to Garmin, this is the site of Totally Trained Fitness, and I need to get a morning workout in.
It is my assumption that this house is someone's home-based business, based somehow in the fitness arena. Garmin simply added the site to it's index based on the business profile it picked up from some directory.
And now, I'm sitting in front of it, blogging on my mobile phone about how annoying this is instead of trying to locate another gym... And THAT is because there is apparently a horribe fitness economy in Lexington, as the past 3 gyms I've driven to are shut down. Not just closed, but dilapidated and run down and for lease.
The GPS maufacturers can pick up tiny home-based fitness businesses the moment they show up, but can't bother to check up on listings for businesses that - from all appearances - have been closed for YEARS.
I can't wait to see how this plays out over the next few years.
Sent via SMS. Please forgive any typos or pointlessness.
Herons, which are wading birds, usually eat mainly fish or frogs and only occasionally bolster their meals with small mammals or birds.
With a wingspan of between 70 to 80ft, they are terrifying to smaller animals and birds when in full flight.
Sent via SMS. Please forgive any typos or pointlessness.
From: [Ad Manager]@indystar.com
Date: Thu, Jun 19, 2008 at 12:27 PM
Subject: Re: Downtown comics screen shot
To: Doug Stephenson
I think it helps that the ad was one of the best I've seen for online
advertising. Nice work on your end. It does look good on the page.
Sincerely, [Ad Manager]
The very purpose of marriage is to develop union between husband and wife and to bear and raise children. In more technical language, we call those two purposes unitive and procreative.
God does not will that all married couples have children, as we know, and we don’t understand why. But our tradition of listening to God, revealed in Scripture, in the experience of the Church and all creation, tells us that married couples need to be open to bearing and raising children.
In Matthew 19:3-12 and Mark 10:2-12, Jesus supports the concept that God made a man and a woman so that they could marry. He is quoted as saying in both Gospels: "What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder." Also, in Matthew 5:17-18, after the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus said: "Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfill. For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled."
With strength training, the goal is exactly that - to gain strength. Now, the first thing that pops into your head when you think about this is the concept of "bulking up" - gaining huge amounts of muscle. And while this is definitely a form of strength training, it's not the only form. There's training for power (short bursts of incredible effort to lift increasing amounts of weight), endurance (lifting a lighter amount of weight repeatedly for longer duration to increase long-term muscle strength), bulking (pure muscle destruction / reconstruction), and other forms. The goal - to make each muscle in your body as strong as it can be.
With cardiovascular training, the focus shifts from all of the muscles in your arms, legs, back, neck, shoulders and other places, to the one in your chest - your heart. You want to make this muscle stronger, so your body will process oxygen more efficiently and you can exert more effort for longer periods of time. There are lots of ways to train the cardiovascular system - running, jogging, walking, climbing stairs, sprints... But these are just forms of two types of training - interval and endurance. Interval cardio means bringing the heart rate up for a period of time, then resting, allowing it to settle, only to bring it back up again. This form of cardio burns a tremendous amount of calories in a short period of time. Endurance cardio focuses on being able to go at a steady pace for longer periods of time, keeping the heartrate constantly elevated. This also burns calories, however, there are some important notes on how this works that I'll cover later.
(To go ahead and get it out of the way, the absolute best way to remove fat from your body is to combine strength training with cardiovascular training. It seems like common sense... But the truth is, it is EXTREMELY easy to convince yourself each day that you've done enough after a great strength training session, or a three mile run, because both are a lot of work. But they're two individual pieces of a puzzle that, when combined, form a full picture otherwise invisible to you.)
The point of strength training is to literally destroy your muscle so that it will rebuild itself. That's how you build more muscle. It sounds horrible, right? Well, it's not that bad. It's just something you should understand going into the process - at the very least, it explains why you're sore when you start working out. Each time you perform an exercise, you are tearing muscle fibers. It's at a near-molecular level, which is why you don't feel like your arm has just torn off when you do it... But it's happening. As the body repairs the torn fibers, it uses synthesized protein that you've ingested to perform the repairs. Just like scar tissue on your skin, the area is locked and patched up with available material, forming a stronger and somewhat larger patch of muscle fiber.
Wash, rinse, repeat. The result - bigger, stronger muscles.
Now, there are three types of muscle in your body: Cardiac (which we cover in Cardiovascular training), smooth (which we probably won't go into, as it pertains to organs and blood vessels), and Skeletal (the good stuff). Strength training, as it pertains to working out, focuses almost exclusively on skeletal muscle tissue - biceps, triceps, pectorals, glutius maximus... All of these are skeletal muscles.
Inside the group of skeletal muscles, there are two types that are commonly referred to as fast twitch and slow twitch. As you can infer from the names, slow-twitch muscles are more related to endurance, whereas Fast Twitch muscles pertain more to power and speed. As such, training for strength breaks down to primarily two types of training: endurance (building and conditioning the slow twitch fibers) and power (buidling and conditioning the fast twitch fibers).
Now, I'll go ahead and tell you that, regardless of which focus you choose, you'll be working out both sets of muscle. You pretty much have no choice - when you focus on slow twitch fibers, you'll be using fast-twitch to lift the bar off the ground, or push the weight off the holds. Conversely, when you focus on fast-twitch training, you'll use slow-twitch muscles for stability in your arms and shoulders while on the bench press, or for standing upright between repititions on a squat machine.
As such, the best overall decision is to dedicate time to both groups each week. We'll go over this in more detail later, for now, the important thing to know is that you'll have a choice when you work out as to which area you want to focus on, and how "big" and / or how "toned" you wish to be when you work out.
Cardio is all about getting the heart pumping. Any sort of moment done with sufficient effort over a period of time is going to increase your heart rate. Increased heart rate directly relates to calories burned. And, as mentioned earlier, if you burn more calories than you consume, you lose fat. Pretty easy, right? Well, there's no "gotcha" here - it is. It's so simple, humans have been doing it since the species crawled out of the muck and began chasing potential food with sharpened sticks.
As mentioned before, when you engage in interval training, you're getting your heart rate to "spike" repeatedly - bringing it to an elevated state for some time, then letting it rest. One of the easiest forms of exercise to do this are "sprints" - starting at a designated point, running a set distance, and stopping, only to do it again. This form of cardio training is one of the best for losing weight, as it really forces caloric burn and, provided you're doing something that creates resistance (such as sprints, or fast push-ups), also creates strength due to resistance training.
The other form, endurance cardio, is generally what you think of when you think of running a few miles, or swimming a bunch of laps, or riding a bike for a while. Your heart rate is elevated, and then maintained at that elevated rate for a while. This burns calories as well - however, the type of caloric burn is different, due to the fact that the body "flips a switch" between regular energy consumption and the type of energy consumption that takes place when it's in a state of prolonged movement. In short, you burn more calories than you would sitting down, but your body regulates how many and how quickly. It knows it's going to be doing this a while, so it tends to conserve energy (versus interval training,where it just squirts out whatever it has right away to get you through each "spike").
1) You're not in shape. That's vital to come to terms with, because your first, oh... Week or so of training? It's not going to be fun. It's going to be uncomfortable and exhausting. And that's because you are out of shape. But - and this is the good part - the more you train, the more in shape you get, and the more in shape you get, the more fun it becomes.
Now, I know exactly what you're thinking - how the hell is it ever going to be fun? Well... What would you say that, in a few months time, there'll come a point where, if you miss even a single workout, you'll feel crappy because of it? You'll hate not being in training; you'll actually crave getting into the gym every day that you go? That you'll feel sick less often, breathe easier, need to carve new notches into your belt as your waist line gets smaller...
Yeah. You'll probably say I'm a liar. In fact, you'll probably say that for the first month and a half... But I promise you, it's true. Again, you'll just have to trust that I know this one.
Also, you may feel self conscious if you are starting your workouts for the first time at a gym or in a public place... I cannot tell you how much you shouldn't care about the thoughts of others. But you will anyway, so here's my advice: Just know that most everyone in that gym or at that park is mentally applauding you for getting out and doing something great with your body. Seriously. Sure, you'll run across the occasional dickhead who's going to whisper and say something, but honestly, those guys and girls are going to point and laugh no matter WHAT you look like. If you're stacked with muscle, they're going to call you musclehead; if you're skinny and fit, they're going to make fun of your shoes. You cannot stop them. Don't worry about them... Just let them live their shallow, miserable lives while you strengthen and empower your own.
Remember - people too weak to achieve their own goals in life will always discourage others from achieving theirs. Or, more simply... Fuck. Them. By far, the majority of people who see you at the gym are going to be proud that you're there.
2) Expect resistance from the exercises. In fact, embrace it. Weights are heavy. You'll find yourself cursing this fact. You'll be tempted to move the pin up a few notches to make the weight lighter. You'll find yourself wanting to put the bar on the rack before you've reached your set number of repetitions. You'll curse the weight for being so damn heavy.
Well, think about it this way - if it weren't heavy, it wouldn't be making you as strong as it is. That weight is not your enemy, and it's not working against you... It is your friend. To paraphrase a sentiment from Henry Rollins in a piece he wrote called "The Iron" - the weight is working WITH you to make you stronger. That one thought fundamentally changed the way I looked at working out. Every single time I touched a weight from that point forward, I did so with that one thought in mind - every ounce in that bar is making me that much stronger.
From: JJBattoe To: Joe the Peacock Posted: Mon Jun 02, 2008 3:18 pm Subject: Re: Heya! Haha, I was gonna say, this came a little later than expected. Not sure if this is some automated message or what, but if not, just like to let you know I really love your site. I love the idea of how the books are voted on, edited, etc. by the people actually planning on reading it. The stories are (for the most part) well written, and quite a few of them I could relate to easily. The comedic style is great, but the subject matter is what truly keeps me reading them. I have aspirations of becoming a writer myself someday, and reading these stories has really encouraged me to pursue that dream. I hope this site continues to run for years, and hopefully gets updated a little more frequently In any case, thanks for all the entertainment, and PLEASE KEEP WRITING!!! Also, I'm sure they are harder to write, literally and emotionally, but the stories like "Just Visiting" are my favorites, and I think by writing some more of these along with the stories currently dominating your site, you could attract a whole new audience (which is good for everyone). This message may sound a little corny and whatnot, but everything I said was truly sincere. This site even helped inspire a paper I did recently for English! So once again, thanks for doing this, and I hope you have as much fun writing for this site as I have reading about your life experiences!
From: TitsMcGee To: Joe the Peacock Posted: Mon Jun 02, 2008 11:30 am Subject: Re: Heya!
Love the site so far. Not sure about the forums, since I spend a majority of the time reading the stories. Just finished the first book (literally, just 5 minutes ago. And I'm at work....obviously not getting much accomplished), I'll definitely be buying a copy. I'm the type of person who, if I like it, will read a book 35 times. In a row. In one sitting. This is definitely one of "those" types of books, so I'll need to get a hard copy so that I don't have to boot up my computer every time I want to read it.
Now that I'm done the book, though, I have to go through and read all of the stories that didn't make it in.
I initially found your site through Zug. I read the WalMart story a loooong time ago and was re-reading it the other day (while at work, again, not working) when I noticed the link to your site at the very bottom of the story. I hadn't noticed it the last time I read the story, so I went ahead and clicked it. When the page loaded and I realized you had an obscene amount of stories on here, I was like "JACKPOT!!" I was also surprised while reading through the book - I'm positive I've read your "Turning Japanese" story somewhere before, but I can't remember where. I was like "YAY, I know this one!" and got excited for some ridiculous reason that I can't explain.
Anyway, so yeah, love the site and I'll definitely be sticking around to see what stories you put out next.
Subject: It's all your fault
Date: Mon, 2 Jun 2008 16:37:40 -0400
From: P., Jim <address>
I want to thank you (and blame you) for the past hour entertainment. I was doing my job diligently searching for an Information Architect for a client in Atlanta, and ran by your Linked In thingy as you call it. Reading your profile got me interested in what you do, so I clicked on your web link. I know my peers figured out from the snickers, that turned to laughs, that I was not questioning a candidate on their Human Experience skills.
I now have to schedule time to read all the stuff you wrote after the Cow story. If I get fired due to lack of production, can I be your agent?
Seriously, very funny stuff.
Celebrating 20 Years of Success (1988 - 2008)