9.10.2008

WOMEN - Why do you insist on driving me fucking crazy?

Seriously - why the hell are women, as a gender, so fucking stupid? Don't get me wrong - I could, and probably will, espouse on how fucking stupid men are as a gender... But I am one, so I already know the answers to all the questions regarding male stupidity. What I DON'T understand is how females - the fairer gender by far - fall for such blindingly obvious and stupid ploys to appeal to their society-induced fragility. For instance:

Why do women watch, much less emulate, the show Sex in the City? They're whores, ladies. Whores. Why do you want to be a whore? Please don't be a whore.

Why do women buy Cosmopolitan magazine, Glamour magazine, Vogue magazine, et al and think that the airbrushed, half-an-apple-a-day model types are what men want? They're not. They're ugly, waifish Skeletor clones that, in some sick and twisted way, have become what YOU think the ideal woman is... Not us. Sure, there's a few bubba redneck fratboys out there who think Pam Anderson is hot, but they also hang rubber testicles on the towhook of their oversized monster truck that serves as compensation for their tiny penises.

Why do women buy this Sarah Palin bullshit? It's so obvious that the right-wing neocon propaganda machine is pandering to your vagina, I'm offended FOR you. She's a fucking moron. McCain is a fucking moron. Put the two together... Two fucking morons. And for whatever reason, the moment John McCain announces that the experienceless hockey mom from Alaska might have a shot at 2nd place running this country, you run en masse from supporting Obama to supporting the same asshole party that have ruined this nation:
"White women have moved from 50-42 percent in Obama's favor before the conventions to 53-41 percent for McCain now, a 20-point shift in the margin that's one of the single biggest post-convention changes in voter preferences. The other, also to McCain's advantage, is in the battleground Midwest, where he's moved from a 19-point deficit to a 7-point edge. "
WHY????? Because she's a woman? I mean, is that the reason? Because it certainly can't be her stance on issues, her experience, or her qualifications, because she has none. Of any of those. No stances, just sound bites. No experience, except in scandals. And no qualifications - just beliefs in a religion that she bases her policy on.

And this whole "Lipstick on a pig" red herring coming from the McCain / Palin camp? Seriously, if you believe the spin - if you HONESTLY believe it was a dig on Palin - not only do you need to go back to grammar school and learn "context," but you're also fucking stupid.

That's not just for females, by the way. Goes for men too.

Fucking. Stupid.

Why do you spend 2 hours getting ready to go out anywhere? You claim it's because it's what men want, but it's not. Trust me. It's just not. We find you hot as is - done deal. The hard work was done the moment the X chromosome was doubled up. You want to spend effort on making yourself attractive? Work on your self respect and confidence if they're lacking. If not, well... This article probably isn't for you anyway. In fact, you stopped reading a while ago. I'm not sure why I'm even trying to talk to you.

Why do you give a shit about what men think of you in the workplace? I had a long conversation with a woman - a highly regarded, strong willed and talented female in a managerial position at a Fortune 500 company. We were discussing my article on male communications, and she expressed to me all the little things that go through a woman's mind when she meets a man in a professional setting. She wanted to know what types of handshakes meant what, so that she could perfect her greeting.

You know what I told her? The truth - "When a man meets you, in all settings, at all times, the very first thing going through his mind is not your handshake, your makeup, your tone of voice or your qualifications. He's judging whether or not he finds you attractive."

It's just true. It doesn't mean he's wondering if he wants to sleep with you (because he's not, the answer is already "yes" to that one). He's just considering if you're attractive. After that, he's going to listen to and consider anything and everything you have to say... But yeah, the first thing is whether or not you're hot. And you can quit worrying about if a man respects you or not... Male respect is earned through time. It's just how it is. You want to earn your male superior's respect? Do a good job. Want to earn a male co-worker's respect? Do a good job. Easy.

Sure, there's guys out there who will disrespect you because you're a female - these are the same types of guys who disrespect other males based on race, or what college they went to, or what car they drive... They're limp-dicks. Period. They can't get it up unless they feel empowered, and the quickest way to feel empowered is to put your boot on someone's head. They go for the easy kill.

Ignore them and move on.

Why do women even bother putting up with men's shit? All you have to do is, as a gender, unionize and agree to close your legs until men start listening to reason. Men are sexual addicts, period. They want what you've got. Just withhold it - en masse - until we start listening (of course, until you stop watching fucking Sex in the City and reading Cosmo, we're not going to want to listen...)

It might seem like I'm hating on women... I'm not. I'm hating on stupidity. And I'm choosing wide swaths of shared behavior among the female gender to do it. And I'm doing it because YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE BETTER THAN US.

We're neanderthals. We hunt and we kill and we grunt and we compare penis lengths. Everything we do, as a gender, is a variation on those four things.

You teach. You nurture. You empower. You care. These things are much much much harder to do than bashing someone's head in with your fist or calling someone names or spending money to compensate for shortcomings. They take INTELLIGENCE.

So why the hell aren't you using it? Good God... Don't you realize that, if you actually organized, you could run this entire planet within a week?

If I didn't love you all so much, I wouldn't be so angry about all of this.


*** Update 11:19 PM ***

Since it came up...

Want to know why I am so anti-Palin and anti-gender-based-voting?

I'll let none other than a Harvard Law grad with honors explain for me, in terms much clearer than I'm capable of using, with a face that most ladies would consider far more attractive: