9.21.2008

OMG BACON & MAC & CHEESE

It's not new, but today is the first time I've seen the commercials for the new Pizza Hut "Tuscani Pastas". I was dismissive when I saw the Chicken Alfredo pasta, and I couldn't care less about the Meaty Marinara pasta - but when I saw that you can get OVER THREE POUNDS of Premium Bacon Mac & Cheese, my crotch got tingly and I nearly fainted.

That's THREE MOTHERFUCKING POUNDS of macaroni and cheese with bacon in it! Who cares if it's from Pizza Hut - notorious for sucking massive amounts of crap. THIS IS THREE POUNDS! OF BACON! AND MAC & CHEESE OMG I JUST CAME.

So yeah, I'm all about this. I hopped on their website and told them where I lived, then placed a quick order for this premium dish - when I saw this:



What kind of jewish muslim would remove the bacon from this most holy dish? I mean, seriously, it's enough to change religions over - MAC & CHEESE + BACON = THE FACE OF ALMIGHTY GOD.

And now the order is placed, and I'm sitting indian-style with my fingers and thumbs clasped in front of me, chanting a mantra of "mmmmmmmmm" until it arrives.

I shall let you know how it is.


*** Update 8:12 PM ***

Mariel Alper is clearly insane:



I reminded her that bacon is so good, they add it to Filet Mignon to make it better.

Bacon is AWESOME.

Bacon is my BFF.

Still waiting on Pizza Hut to deliver my dish.


*** Update 8:30 PM ***

Well.. It's here. And it's...

Well, look at it:



That is very clearly not this:



And now, to taste it:








IT'S NOT FAIR!

THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A HOLY AND DIVINE EXPERIENCE AND IT WAS MOST CERTAINLY NOT!

It tastes bad!

Like... Not inedible, just... Bad. Like, not worth $13.00 bad. And I think 3lbs includes the weight of the packaging as well.

Much like your first sexual experience, the hype and anticipation leads to a short, disappointing moment in which you soil your pants:



Ultimately disappointing. I are sad Peacock.