9.16.2008

A few things with little relation to one another

On the way home from the gym, I saw a sign for an optometrist that was advertising "We now have new Sarah Palin glasses!"

Last I checked, those were called Tina Fey glasses. But who knows, maybe it's time for a change... Maybe those glasses have swung from looking smart to looking blindingly stupid.

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One of my favoritest people in the world, Seth Godin, linked an old article of his from Fast Company magazine in his blog post today. That article was the first thing I ever read by Seth - I remember clearly sitting in a doctor's office thumbing through the Fast Company magazine and landing on that article, and being instantly hooked. The guy GOT it... More than that, he got ME.

I'm totally incompetent. I have no best practices, only a wild imagination and more determination than common sense. It's 99% of the reason everything I do ends up having some sort of snag or gaffee, and 100% of the reason life is just so much fun all of the time.

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I don't particularly like pastry, except for Toaster Strudel. I don't know why. I just love me some Toaster Strudel.

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I'm getting to the point in my human development where I need to decide if I'm going to a) be in shape, or b) eat pizza. Because I can't do both. And I know what you're going to say, you're going to say "Hey, Joe, Michael Phelps eats like 22 pizzas a day and he's in shape!" And that's good for Michael Phelps. The problem is, if I choose to eat pizza, I'm going to choose to eat 23 of the damn things, not 22 - and I don't exercise enough to justify that much pizza. But God, do I love pizza. Almost as much as Toaster Strudel.

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At some point, someone's going to invite me to some party or function that I'm not going to want to go to, and I'm going to go anyway, and I'm going to look across the room and there will be standing Sean Hannity right next to Bill O'Reilly, and I'm going to be so glad I went because I'll finally get to practice my left-hook-to-right-spinning-backfist combo. Because I totally want to smash both of those dipshits into paste.

And for the sake of balance (and so XavierMuskie doesn't call me a NeoLib again), I want to do the same thing to Janine Garaffalo. But she's a lady, and I won't hit ladies. But I'd totally pee on her shoes if she accidentally went into the men's restroom at my imaginary party.

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Email used to be so exciting for me. When I first got a computer and had an email address, there'd be blocks of three or four days where I didn't get a single email. It was so exciting back in those days to check your inbox and see a little number next to it, indicating that someone somewhere not only had an email address, but had yours as well, and the two of you were now communicating without using stamps.

That was 15 years ago. I think it stopped being fun the moment I started working jobs that used email to communicate. Somehow, once something becomes work, it's no longer exciting. It's just... Work. That's not to say you can't have an exciting job, it's just that those jobs aren't work. Work is work. Getting paid to do things is not the same as working.

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Radiohead's "In Rainbows" sounds SO much better to me now than when it came out.