The *Evil* Genius Sidebar (AKA Fuck You Apple, Part 4)

I officially hate the iTunes Genius Sidebar.

I turned it on to see how intelligently it could build a playlist for me, based on songs I was listening to. And it does a fine job of that. I allowed it to contact the iTunes store, so it could recommend for me music that matches my taste.

I went to play some Adagio today (one of the finest bands you've never heard). For the uninitatied, Adagio is a french prog-metal band with musicians that make Dream Theater look like The Eagles (that's an insult, by the way).

I clicked on the track "Next Profundus" of of Underworld (one of the best records you've never heard, and easily one of my top 10 of all time). And as soon as I did, I was greeted with a note from the Genius sidebar mentoning that I may be missing some songs:

Now, ever since I found Adagio back in 2002, I have been OBSESSED with finding anything and everything they have had a hand in. And one thing I've discovered is - there's not much. They're independent. They do their own covers, CD layout, designs, production, concerts - everything about them is indie, and what rules is that it SOUNDS FANTASTIC. No hissing in the masters, the levels are fantastic, and they know how to play their instruments (boy, do they know how to play them).

So it struck me as odd that a record could be out that I didn't know about. Alas, Apple had suggested it to me... The titles of the suggested songs seemed somewhat inline with what might be on an Adagio record (Fly Away, Everywhere, Working on a Building)... The cover looked as amateurish as any other Adagio record cover...

I checked MP3Fiesta.com to see if they had this album I supposedly didn't have, and it didn't show up. But MP3Fiesta and the like sometimes don't get records that aren't chart-toppers when they come out, so I decided to give iTunes a whirl and pay 10 bucks for this album.

When I got it, I saw the covers and the track listing in greater detail, and immediately warning flags went up:

...There's an awful lot of Jesus in the titles of these songs.

I double-clicked the first track, and... Well, how about I show you a little of "What-Joe-Expected-Versus-What-Joe-Got" and let you see for yourself. Be sure to listen to the whole video:

I seriously am sorry for doing that to you. But I had to illustrate my frustration and my pain somehow.

Not only was this Adagio clearly an impostor, but it was shitty protools basement-studio fake-ass R&B JesusBand singing glossy, tepid praises to God that could probably have been more poetic if typed by fifth graders in a creative writing class.

So yeah, between Adobe being a cocktease about CS4's release date and Apple getting my hopes up on some badass progmetal, ultimately to stick a tack in my balloon, my Tuesday is ruined. How's yours?