8.28.2008

Some bullshit thoughts about all sorts of stuff (I Think, part 2)

I think anyone who tells you that "Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels" is a better film than "Snatch" is an art school fucktard who just wants to be one of those "Well, I saw the FIRST film by {var AcclaimedDirector=this} and it was superior and thus I am superior for having done so" dicks.

I think Dane Cook is a hack.

I think that some people assign FAR too much value to the metaphor and analogy in Donnie Darko. I also think the movie sucked cocks and those who find it to be a moving experience are the same sort who think Babel was anything more than an overbaked narcissistic hunk of shit.

I think the term "writer" has gone so far off the deep end of mastubatory indulgence that I shall never ever refer to myself as one, ever, for any reason.

I think blogs are stupid and bloggers are cocks. And yes, I mean me.

I think Obama should be our president. I think anyone who buys into the Muslim nonsense is either woefully gullible or just out to screw the shit out of our nation with their nonsense. To go way too deep into pop geektitude and quote Alfred from The Dark Knight, "Some men just want to watch the world burn." And some men are just fucking ignorant hillbilly pieces of shit who - somehow - don't want to choke Sean Hannity to death.

I think if I were ever within punching distance of Sean Hannity, I'd be serving time for punching Sean Hannity. In fact, I know this. Put this down as a promise - I will punch Sean Hannity if I ever get the opportunity.

I think hurricanes suck.

I think my friend Jeremy is perhaps the most pure spirit of a person I know. I think this because he's the only one I know in my life who is willing to tell me the truth about how much my ideas suck.

I think I should take a drawing class or 300.

I think getting an Akira tattoo is a bit much. But I think that getting an entire arm full of Akira tattoo loops past "bit much" and around to "awesome" and anyone who thinks otherwise is secretly jealous of the confidence and dedication it takes to be so into something. They also wear Crocks and think Dane Cook is funny.

I think people who attempt to be Bill Hicks should be kicked in the face. Same with people who think they're George Carlin, Louis CK, or Conan O'Brien. But those who try to be Dane Cook are fine, because they're already destined to drink from straws and watch court-based programming on afternoon television when they're 50.

I think I should stop.