I don't care what the experts say...

It's been one of the longest-standing military axioms in United States history - "You can't win a land war in China."

Oh yes you can. And here's why:

I've never been to war, and I've never served in an infantry unit... But I've played enough Call of Duty to know that the second someone gets behind you, and you're on a Segway, you're totally 100% FUCKED. Knife-death ahoy.

You can't run laterally. You can't sidestep. You can't twist-and-fire. You can't duck behind cover. All you can do is go forward marginally faster than you could on your own two feet.

If you DO hop off the Segway, you've got an instant obstacle in front of you. This looks to me like a damn shooting gallery on wheels.