I'm being held hostage!

I hate when I have to take my truck in for service.

Not because of the mechanics - the people at Merlin are freakin' awesome. They're honest, they treat younger people and women like they're actually human, and they do great work. But when I have to wait in the waiting room, and I can't leave since my truck's on a lift, I have no choice but to sit in the presence of the worst television programming ever devised.

I speak, of course, about the Fox News Channel.

As my friend Jeremy says, I'd rather watch a soap opera marathon on NBC than Fox News. I can literally feel myself growing stupider and angrier by just sitting in the same room as this television blaring the white-washed, bleached-out shills boasting about how America is constantly under attack by either terrorists, non-christians, or someone with a weather dominator sending tornadoes to obliterate the bible belt.

At least in the soaps, they have dudes who wear eye patches... And eye patches are entertaining to look at.

As I type this, these "news anchors" are hyping a live appearance by Rush Limbaugh who is appearing on the channel to discuss his involvement in Operation: Chaos and the loss for Obama in Indiana due to O:C's involvement.

This is news?

This needs to be covered? I mean...


And it's not like I'm going to give MSNBC, CNN or any other cable news network a free pass. They have their own issues (quite a few each, in fact), but right now, I'm not being affronted by them.

Just sitting here, I feel the need to go buy a gun. True, it's so I can storm the studios and blow these fucking shills away, but still, it's the need to buy a gun.

And holy shit, they just played that racist panda commercial for SalesGenie.com.