4.14.2008

Dealing with an IT Bully...

Scenario: You are having trouble with your desktop, so you call support. Support answers the phone and has an attitude, then the wormy little bastard shows up and gives you shit a la Nick Burns and starts making all sorts of high-tech references and follows them up with "but I wouldn't expect YOU to understand" and blah blah blah and you know what you should do?

Punch the motherfucker. That's what.

Slashdot posted an article this morning about dealing with IT bullies. Now, the guy who wrote the article is talking about how the VP of Development at his company was all aggravated with him, because he was the director of support and his support team spent all weekend dealing with some issue somewhere and the VP of Development was all blah blah blah and you know what? Just punch the motherfucker.

Seriously. That's how you deal with an IT bully. You punch the motherfucker. Square in the mouth. Just haul off and WHAPPO!

Maybe you'll knock out a tooth. Maybe you'll knock the guy right out. But that's how you do it.

Now, being my size, I can't really get away with just punching motherfuckers right in the jaw, especially in the IT field since most of them end up being not only way smaller than I am, but also passive-aggressive in the face of someone much larger than they are, choosing instead to resort to griefing in Halo and World of Warcraft and Second Life to get their little jollies off... So I have to go the opposite way - I have to be smarter than they are. And not just smarter, but SO MUCH SMARTER IT ACTUALLY PHYSICALLY PAINS THEM TO DEAL WITH ME.

But if you're not that person; if you're a smaller individual and have suffered at the hands of the incredibly skinny-yet-ostentatious IT guy, or the incredibly overweight-yet-ostentatious IT guy, or the middle-sized-yet-ostentatious IT guy... Just fucking haul off and hit them. Without mercy. Just a nice solid whack right to the jaw.

I think the world would be a much better place if everyone was allowed to slug someone in the jaw at least once a day. It's kind of the same theory that keeps Kennesaw, GA the lowest crime per capita city in all of Georgia.




Why yes, I've had a bad day. Why do you ask?