Guessing game time!

Guess which one of your favorite chronically late internet-based writers has staph food poisioning???

Also, guess which type of food poisioning has no medicine to cure it and must run its course?

Also, sorry the MI story is late. When i'm not mobile-blogging from the hospital, i'm otherwise 'indesposed'. I'll finish things once I can sit still for longer than 30 mins at a time.