12.17.2007

Espresso Beans

I've noticed that some people are uncomfortable when I've eaten chocolate-covered espresso beans.

Some People: "Hey, what's that delectable little treat you seem to be enjoying there?"

Me: "A chocolate covered espresso bean."

SP: *contorted face* "Eew."

Me: "Want one?"

SP: "No, thanks..."

But when they see me eating a nothing-covered espresso bean, it brings out the worst in them.

Some People: "Hey, what's that delectable little treat you seem to... Wait... I recognize that - is that... A coffee bean?!?"

Me: "Well... An espresso bean, yes."

SP: *contorted face* "Eew."

Me: "Want one?"

SP: "FUCK YOU! I hold you in ill regard for even considering that I would place that vile thing in my mouth!"

Me: "Uh... Okay..."

SP: "Seriously! You are the worst humanity has to offer! You disgust me, you... You coffee bean eater!"

Me: "It's an espresso b..."

SP: "I WILL RAPE YOUR MOTHER! YOU DON'T DESERVE TO LIVE! I HOPE YOU SPRAIN AN ANKLE! SO ON AND SO FORTH!"

Me: *leaves*

They see me munchin'... They hatin'...