A bit of a followup on the leaky pipe / wet ceiling / Allstate's website sucks thing:

After talking with my dad and the agent, I determined that there was no need for me to go and raise my insurance premiums over a stupid leaky pipe. I felt I had the ability to do what needed to be done to fix it, I was just kind of scared to go ripping into my home and fixing both pipes and ceilings - but my dad gave me the courage I needed by saying something that sounded remarkably like laughter and a slight jest about my manhood.

So, I grabbed a prybar and my reciprocal saw and knocked a big ol' hole in the ceiling:

Then, I got some compression fittings and replacement piping:

There. good as new... Except there's a big ol' hole in my garage ceiling, and white footprints all over the concrete where the drywall and water paste got all caked in our shoes.

Also, I hate squirrels.

And Allstate's site is still unusable.

And I am now out of tea.